How to (temporarily) evade the family
Slip out the back, Jack. Make a new plan, Stan … Okay, so you’re not breaking up with your family. You’re just trying to obtain a little quiet time during which you can take pen to paper.
If you’re like me, there are never enough writing hours in the day. There are work hours, blogging hours, social media hours, marketing hours, and being with family hours. Sometimes the family hours can commandeer an entire afternoon or morning—this is normal and expected—but when nothing special is going on and everyone’s doing their own thing (on a Saturday during a spike in the pandemic, for instance), I find that it’s best to be closed-mouthed about wanting to write, or someone in my family may attempt to prevent it from happening.
The family is on to my writing addiction, and they habitually try to stop me for the sake of winning my attention.
You’re probably thinking, Why not just tell them what you want? The answer: because that is exactly the problem. I can’t simply say, “I’m going to use this free time to write, so please don’t bother me.”
The minute the family knows I have something I want to do that excludes them, they find reasons to need me. It will suddenly become a yard work day or a “help me with my science project” day, or someone will complain that there’s no food in the house, and I’ll be guilted into running out and buying a cart-load of their favorite snacks.
What’s a writer to do?
The best way to get some “extra” writing time requires that you practice your acting skills. By that I mean you must act like absolutely nothing is going on. You want nothing, you need nothing. Start by partaking in something boring that no one wants to help you with, such as dusting the living room.
If you ever want to clear a room, ask if anyone would like to help houseclean.
Once they’ve retreated to their various corners, pick up your laptop and head into any space in your home where the others seldom go—wherever your laundry machines are, perhaps, or your now-teenaged child’s little wooden house in the backyard; the garage, basement, and attic are other possibilities.
Take a trip to one of these outliers of the property and start typing or scribbling. This scenario is great for anyone who has a problem with procrastination because there’s no time to conjure the muse or to wait for that creative feeling to come over you. You must get to work immediately because who knows how long you’ll have before someone discovers your disappearance—and your whereabouts—and you hear those dreaded words, “Mom’s in the attic again!”
If this doesn’t work for you, you might try writing in the bathroom like Mr. Dalton Trumbo, anonymous writer of several screenplays (at least one of them Oscar winning), did. He took his notebook and writing utensils, and sometimes his typewriter, and sank right into the tub. Most people will leave you alone when you’re in the bathroom, though it’s no guarantee. Plus, the cats and/or the kids will likely be waiting for you when you get out.
Whatever dark and cramped place you find yourself in, the key is to achieve your writing time without hurting the family’s feelings. If you hurt feelings in your attempt to escape, you’ll likely open a whole other can of worms. There may be tears to deal with, or anger, or even grudges held. Explanations will have to be made and possibly deals drawn up. Should you accidentally hurt feelings, tell the family you’ll be a much better person once you’ve had your writing fix.
Yes, if all else fails, tell the truth.
Then you can get back to family life fully content that some writing has been done.
Kim Catanzarite is an editor and a blogger, and the author of The Jovian Duology. She loves her family and wouldn't trade them for the world. Learn more about her and her books at www.AuthorKimCatanzarite.com.
